Surviving one sip of coffee at a time.
You know when you see quotes and you just feel them in your soul? I have a whole board dedicated to them on Pinterest and even have several of them saved on my phone. I always feel like they give me a boost at the right time. Something about them, especially when they resonate with you makes you feel like you’re not alone. Someone out there is going through or has been in the same place/emotional state that you are. There are three quotes that I call my Mama Mantras that I live by and a few that I repeat not only to myself (often) but also to my friends. I have found that it has helped me and my friends in different stages in our lives but especially on the motherhood rollercoaster.
- “Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day”- Alice M. Earle
If I could have only one saying that I repeat over and over to myself daily this would be it, and I do! Do you ever have those days? You just feel like you’ve failed? Whether the babies were having tantrums, or you didn’t get to do anything you set out to do, we all have days where we feel completely unsuccessful. There are so many days when I wake up with the best intentions with grandiose plans of what I’m going to achieve and then from the second one (or both!) babes wake up it just feels like a struggle. There are days when my husband calls to check in on us around 10 am and I feel like I’ve lived three days already and I am ready to go to bed. Yet when it is (finally!!) bed time, and I scroll through all of the pictures and videos from the day in my phone (I now have over 16,940 pictures and 1,775 videos even the Verizon guy was impressed.) I have so many pictures of my babies hugging each other and playing together. I have videos of us being outside and truly just enjoying each other, and laughing together. It is such a great reminder of how much good there is in every day and especially that even if the day was hard on me, my babies didn’t know it. I met their needs, when they cried mama was there to pick them up, to feed them, to play with them and most of all to just love on them! You are doing SO much better than you give yourself credit for Mama. You are rockin it!
2. “It takes a Village”
This is a popular one among so many mama groups, and for good reason! It truly does take a village and it is so important for moms to find their tribe. When my daughter was born, I shut the world out. I wanted so badly to do it all on my own. There were so many parenting apps, and chat groups I was a part of that basically attacked any mom who complained about a rough day, or expressed how overwhelmed or tired she was. I remember specifically reading a post where a mom stated that her three year old was having major tantrums, was needy and she was feeling overwhelmed and just completely over it! In a time where we need to lift each other up, offer up a “You got this!” she was attacked. Immediately there were messages like “You should be so grateful, I would give anything to deal with those tantrums again” and “you should be grateful you can even have children” While I am very empathetic to the struggles of fertility, feeling overwhelmed does not in any way indicate that you love your child any less. Lets be real here, momming is HARD. Isn’t it so ironic, that something that connects us all on a deep and beautiful level can also make us feel so isolated? I remember any time that I would express any type of frustration or feeling of tiredness or just being overwhelmed, I would quickly follow it up with an “but we are just so grateful, I mean really its just the best thing ever!” and in all honesty it is, it is the hardest-greatest-frustrating-beautiful-rollercoaster ride, and venting on your hard days doesn’t change that! I can never put in to words the relief I feel when I can vent about a rough day, or teething, or sleep regression and not feel judged. My daughter met a little boy in a Mommy and Me class, and they were inseparable. I invited the boy and his parents to my daughters first birthday and I was so excited when they came. What is even better is that our first borns get along so well and we were both pregnant together and now our second borns will have a built in bestie as well. She has been such a saving grace for me. On the days that things are going crazy, I will call her and she’ll come right over, or will invite us over and vice versa and it helps so much! The babes love to play together and it gives us both a break. We have found a few friends this way and while we love our friends without babies, its nice to be able to go out to dinner with a couple who don’t bat an eye when your baby is “singing” at the top of their lungs and who not only don’t care but have something to add when you talk about baby poop! I encourage you to go out there and find your tribe, mamas! I know it can be extremely intimidating to go in to a group of women, or to strike up a conversation, but I also know that all of us are searching for a place to feel like we belong, to be seen.
3. “You can’t pour out of an empty cup”
While I’m positive famous people have said this in various ways, it only actually stuck with me when my mom said it to me after an especially tough day. Isn’t it so amazing that sometimes even when we are grown the most influential words still come from our mothers? Also, terrifying! I’ve got a lot to live up to. Back to the quote! This is so important mamas! INVEST IN YOURSELF. YOU are WORTHY. Did you know that? I know it is so easy to forget. So much of our thoughts, energy, love and time are invested into our tiny humans, our husbands, and our home that we forget to think about ourselves. But it is so true that you can not give if there is nothing left. Take time for yourself, even if it is 5 min in the bathroom – alone. Even if it is a long shower. Even if it is walking the aisles at Target. Clear your head, breathe. Before you are a mother, before you are a wife, you are a woman. Nurture that woman, remember her, treat her, empower her, love her for she is Amazing. If you ever feel less than, remember who these babies depend on. Who those sparkling little eyes look for, who they smile at, and who they wrap their arms around. We wish our children could see themselves through our eyes, how magical they are. What would we see, if we saw ourselves through our child’s eyes?