Hi friends! We are in the final countdown for Christmas and there SO many things we still need to get done. With so many things to still check off our list, it is easy to feel a bit out of control. Every year I always say I’m going to Christmas shop through out the year, that we are going to start sending out Christmas cards early so on and so on… Every year I am in the same boat, but maybe that is the thrill of it? At least that is what I tell myself! There is one thing though, that I have firmly checked off my list and I truly see a difference in how I feel through out the year and especially the holidays.
There seems to have been a big shift on where we place importance and finally it is on ourselves, our mental health and our peace of mind. It seems to me that in the years past there has been so much pressure on reconciling with people at the detriment of your own happiness. This year the message has continued to be geared towards keeping strong bonds with your family but where the big difference comes in to play is that while family is important, it is not more important than your own personal healing, and happiness. Family is, has always been and always will be the most important area of my life. As I get older and (hopefully) wiser I understand that while we all deserve love and acceptance not everyone needs or even deserves to be invited in to your space. I have met many friends along the way that haven’t spoken to a parent, a sibling, or other family members and it used to really surprise me. I remember often ending the conversation with “hopefully things will get better and you will be together again”. Sometimes though, it is not meant to and that is perfectly ok.
This is not to say that someone you are having a small issue with should be left alone, or that forgiveness is not worth exploring. But, if there is an issue that threatens your happiness and your peace, if there is a person who continuously causes you pain or attempts to make you feel small; if a person continuously disregards your feelings and ignores your boundaries, then it is ok to cut this toxicity out of your life. There is no guilt in speaking up for yourself or in knowing your value. Looking back, there have been times where I have let the comfort and happiness of others control my boundaries and my feelings. These last two years, inspired by my babies and how I want them to hold strong to their boundaries, I have been more assertive in protecting my peace. Heart racing, voice trembling and knees shaking I will say NO! to anyone that threatens the happiness or the comfort of myself, my children or my husband. We have one life to live, it should be shared with those that truly love you, encourage you and celebrate you. My wish for all of you is that you are surrounded by love, peace, health, and family- whoever that is to you. Healthiest of Holidays, and a peaceful New Year!